It's Not True
by RiceCakeUsoppDono-Seeds
Summary: Ever since Sanji had put on that dress, he began to not only question himself, but he began to question who he really is. He didn't know who would support him during this challenge, and was unaware that a certain crew would always be there to back him up with his decisions. Trans!Sanji warning, and attempt at suicide.


**It's Not True**

"Shit!" Sanji said before sitting up in his bed. Thin beads of sweat ran down his forehead as he ran his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. 'Yep...It was one of 'those' dreams again' he thought to himself before glancing around his surroundings. He first noticed the light of the moon emitting into the men's cabin before realizing that everyone around him were still sleeping. Of course, Luffy was the man one snoring, along with Usopp and Brook. The combination of perturbation and loud snoring only caused him to leave the cabin for a bit of fresh air. The chef, after storming out as quickly as he could, went to the edge railing of their trusty boat, The Thousand Sunny, and leaned against its railings.

"What is wrong with me, Sunny?" The chef mumbled to himself before lighting one of his cigarettes. Even in the worst of times, smoking seemed to calm his nerves. Though, this time was different. His body continued to shake as the thoughts of his dreams continued to creep in on him. Maybe is was the seas causing him to grow to this state, or maybe it was the fact that he was close to coming to terms with his true self. Ever since he returned to his crew after battling his way through Okama Land, he noticed that he himself had begun to change in ways that he never would have guessed. After regrouping with the lovely women on the ship, his heart hadn't done its same pitter-patter as it did in the old days. Now, he didn't seem them as just another conquest. No, he saw them as actual women...He saw them as equals. No, that's not it either. He saw them as something he wanted to be.

"Damn it! Those queers got into my head!" He groaned as his elbows slammed onto the hard white railings. Man, Franky would have a fit if the Sunny were to have even a noticeable bruise on it, but that didn't concern Sanji at the moment. Right now, he was still trying to figure out why he felt like this. Nami and Robin would probably question him if he began to admire them. That would be out of character for him, but he wanted to be just like them. He felt sick to his stomach whenever he looked into the mirror ever since returning from the island of 'maidens.' It wasn't that he hated his looks, it was just that he hated being in his body. He needed something new...Something that would make him feel good about himself. He'd trade in his muscular chest for something more curvaceous and maybe even busty. His legs would be replaced with the legs of a goddess, and his face...Oh, how he dreamed of the heart-shaped face that he'd die to have...If only he weren't into this body.

He felt his nails digging into his scalp, and his cigarette had fallen into the sleeping sea. It felt as if the world was about to come crashing down onto him. So much pressure was building up in his chest, and he just wanted to die...He didn't know what to do. 'What did those okamas do to me!?' Sanji thought to himself as he noticed his tears streaming down his cheeks. What was making him feel such a way? After his own maiden tendencies were brought out, he couldn't control his thoughts afterwards. Even after being away from all those 'women,' he didn't know how to think anymore. He didn't admit it, but he felt as if he belonged there...As if they were his true heroes, but he didn't want to just cross-dress. No, he wanted to be a true woman.

His face fell down into his hands, and he tugged at his hair before shouting as loudly as he could. His brain...his brain was hurting...Everything was hurting. But, what hurt the most was not his brain, but his heart. His heart was telling him the truth, but his brain was denying everything...He was denying the fact that he was a woman deep down on the inside, and that he was accidently cloaked in this body. After a few minutes of constant shouting and crying, he finally managed to relax himself. His chest continued to heave hard, and he was starting to sweat profoundly. He didn't know coming to terms with himself was this hard, but what still was hurting him was not himself, but his crew's reaction...What would they say? Would they hate him? Would they kick him out after he came out? He knew that the moss-head wouldn't let him live this down. He'd probably tease him everyday and call him names. Nami and Robin...Oh man, what would they do? Would they just ignore him and not eat his heart-filled cooking? What about Usopp? He's one of the crew member's that he enjoyed spending time with. Would he stop socializing with him because of it? What about Franky? He'd probably join Zoro in the name calling, and Brook and Chopper would just ignore him.

Sanji quickly wiped at the tears, and he fell down to his knees before curling up into a ball while crying. What about Luffy? The man who invited him onto this voyage? The one who he'd die for...The one that would die for him? Would he all of a sudden stop talking to him, or worse...Would he kick him off of the ship? He couldn't bare the thought of losing not only his captain, but also his friends...No...Not his friends, his family.

The blonde man stood back up before glancing over the railing to stare at the waves of the sea...Oh, how they looked so welcoming to a person like him. He didn't know what to do...All he knew was that he wanted this all to end. He wanted everything to end. The blonde straddled his leg over the railing before pulling the other one over. He sat there staring at the inviting sea. He was going to do it; He was going to jump to get rid of the pain and suffering. After all, the crew didn't need a weirdo like him.

"Wait!" Someone suddenly shouted, and Sanji immediately felt a hand stretch out and grab his shoulder and yank him to the floor.

"What the hell were you about to do?" A woman's voice said, though Sanji wasn't able to make it out. He was still surprised from suddenly being pulled onto the floor after trying to end his life. Who would want to keep someone like him alive?

After some time, Sanji was finally able to notice what was going on. He laid there on the floor as his crew members surrounded him. This caused him to immediately sit up, and small tears began to stream down his cheeks, "I-I'm sorry, but...but just let a freak like me die!"

The raven haired captain stared down at his crying chef before a sudden outburst of laughing erupted from him. The truth was, the crew members had all heard his sudden confession, and they all had something to say, "Why would I kick off an awesome chef that can kick ass too?!" Luffy questions while kneeling down next to him, "It doesn't matter who you are, or what you want to be, just as long as you can kick ass!"

"Idiot…" Nami said before slapping the back of Luffy's head, and going over to hug Sanji, and Robin quickly got down to join her. "We always need more girls on this crew." Nami said softly.

Robin nods her head, "She's right. There's nothing weird about coming to terms with who you are."

Sanji felt tears swelling up in his eyes, and both Nami, and an arm that Robin had created, wiped away the tears before he looked up after hearing a somewhat deep voice beginning to speak, "I already hate you, but...I wouldn't care about you changing." Zoro mumbling while yawning tiredly.

"Yes, and I'd finally get to see your true beauty...Even though I don't have eyes! Yohohohoho~!" Brook vocalized.

"Right, and we can still go on so many awesome adventures!" Chopper and Usopp both chimed in to cheer up the still tear-filled Sanji.

"You'd still be as _SUPER_ as ever!" Franky said before striking a pose.

"See, all of them don't want you to go because of something like that…" Luffy said, then wrapped his arms around the crying chef and pulled the whole crew in for a large hug once his arms stretched around all of him, "We can't lose family!"

Sanji couldn't take it any longer...Tears ran down his cheeks, and suddenly he began to bawl his eyes out...Indeed, his family still needed him, and he needed his family. No...She needed her family, and her family need her because they loved each other, and accepted her for who she was.

* * *

 **Hello guys, this may seem like it's a weird topic to write a funny story about, but it's not for comedy...I wrote this so that the trans people out there know that there are actually people out there that care about them, and don't want them to die. Your life means something because you have people out there that love you...Family or friends, it doesn't matter, you are loved. I lost my friend yesterday after she committed suicide because her family didn't accept her. The last message that I got to type to her was that I love you. So, before thinking about taking your own life, please remember that you have people out there that love you. I decided to use Sanji for this because it just felt right.**

 **~RiceCake-Seeds**


End file.
